A Lesson in How to Be True to Yourself as a Speaker, from a Music Legend
Itโs1982, and MTV is becoming a force in the entertainment field. One summer night, Iโm at home watching a video featuring a diminutive whirling dervish, dressed in a funky outfit. His charisma and energy pour through my small TV screen. This young dynamo, named Prince, is everything a music star should be.
In the years that followed, I became more enamored with his musical genius, and his on-stage presence was second-to-none. He also became my favorite musician.
Much has been written since his untimely death two weeks ago. In staying with the overall theme of my posts – speaking –ย I wonโt focus on his impact on culture and the music industry.
I realized last week the influence he has had on me as a speaker and speech coach. Above all, Prince set an example for being authentic, and true to who you are. Clearly, he pushed the boundaries with his music, and he was not afraid to sing about sex, relationships, and society at-large. In the early 1980โs, he was controversial and polarizing.
Whether you liked his music or message, you cannot argue that he was one-of-a-kind. In the field of entertainment, politics, or society at-large, itโs rare that people come into our lives that are true to their nature, and donโt focus on the othersโ opinions of them.
Whether it was Martin Luther King or Gandhi inspiring societal change, Ronald Reagan or Margaret Thatcher shifting the political winds, or Elvis, Madonna, and Prince pushing the edge of the envelope in the entertainment world, they have left their marks because they lived their message, no matter the public criticism.
As a speaker, you may have been admonished to โfind your voice.โ
What does this mean?
Itโs simply the idea of speaking about that which is most dear to you, from your perspective.
Itโs often been suggested to avoid the subjects of sex, religion and politics.
I couldnโt disagree more.
If these issues are important to you, and youโre not discussing them, how can you be acting in an authentic manner as a speaker?
Iโm not suggesting that you stand before an audience and say everything on your mind. There is a level of decorum and respect that we must show. We are speakers, after all, not musicians who say whatever they want for shock value and greater album sales.
On the other hand, audiences owe the same decorum and respect to a speaker.
If you present your perspective and donโt pontificate, you offer a different point of view. You just might change the way people think, feel or act about a topic.
A few months ago, a woman approached me after a workshop and asked, โMichael, how can I talk about my faith in front of others?โย
I asked, โHow important is your faith?โ
โVery much,โ she answered.
โIs your goal to convert others to your religion?โ I asked.
โOh no, I just want to talk about how it has made my life better,โ was her quick reply.
โWell, then, youโre making a mistake if you donโt talk about your faith,โ I said.
She smiled. โIโm a little nervous about doing it.โ
I said, โThe greatest speakers in the world have taught me that, if youโre respectful and make it clear that youโre simply sharing the impact of faith on your life, and then somebody gets upset or doesnโt like it, thatโs their problem.โ
She thought about that for several seconds, and said, โThank you. Thatโs great advice. Youโve convinced me to give it a try.โ
Iโd like to say that those were my original thoughts, but they were ingrained in me by my mentors. My friend and coach Darren LaCroix taught me that โYouโre responsible to your audience, but not for them. Youโll never be able to control their reactions, only the manner in which you deliver your message.โ
If you follow this rule, youโ might change the way people think, feel, or act, and youโll also feel good about yourself in the process.ย
In the next few days, I urge you to consider the example authenticity of Prince and others like him. Look past the flash, the entertainment – even the shock value.ย See the willingness to be yourself by being different, and be open to criticism. Do this, and youโll develop confidence in being true to yourself.
Although Iโm greatly saddened because of the music the brilliant music he had yet to give us, Iโm eternally thankful for what he left behind. Most of all, Iโm grateful for the inspiration to take the risk to be myself, and speak in my own voice.
Thank you, Prince. You are treasured, and you will be missed.
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