I was on a phone call with a friend. She repeated a word several times that is one of the dirtiest words in the English language. It’s a word that creates more stress, anxiety, and frustration than any other.
If we could eliminate this word, people would be happier. They’d feel more fulfilled and successful.
What is this awful Sh**** word?
“I should be more successful.”
“I should have been a better parent and partner.”
“I should have done what my heart told me to do.”
This word shows up in many conversations. I pointed out to my friend the number of times she’d said it. She replied, “Michael, I had no idea.”
Why Is “Should” A Bad Word?
Because it creates negative comparisons. We focus on what we could have done versus what we have done. If this was a passing thought, it wouldn’t be a big deal.
But, many people stay stuck in that mindset. This causes them to focus on what they don’t have. They dream about a better life they could’ve had but never happened. It creates negative energy and a mental loop that’s difficult to escape.
Here’s The Bottom Line:
What is, is. What should be is irrelevant.
To put it in the words of Tony Robbins, “We’ve got to stop should-ing all over ourselves!”
Whether you love your current station in life, or not, you cannot change what got you here. You are where you are.
What you can do is change where you’re going.
Want to improve your condition?
Review your past successes and mistakes.
Repeat the successes, learn from the mistakes.
Review your habits.
Drop bad ones, and replace them with positive habits.
A Terrific, Goal Setting Example
Here’s a goal setting habit from success expert Darren Hardy:
Creating a new objective or goal imagine a long staircase. That’s like starting on the bottom step of the staircase and putting your end result on the top one.
Tradition also suggests you should look at your big goal every day and take action.
This is a problem.
Because if there’s a massive gap between where you are and want to be, it can be discouraging to keep taking action. It can create negative energy, kill your motivation, and cause you to give up on your dream.
A Better Way.
Put your goal on the top step. Instead of looking up at the top every day, only look at the next step in front of you. Take whatever action is necessary to get to it. Repeat this every day.
You’ll want to check-in occasionally to ensure you’re making progress toward that goal.
But, don’t focus on the gap looking up. instead, look down. Look how far you’ve come from the bottom step. The distance you’ve traveled may surprise you.
This perspective will also put you in a more positive frame of mind.
You won’t be using that dirty word “sh****.” You’ll be saying, “I did” or “I accomplished” or “I progressed.” These are positive, unlike that dirty word.
Here’s the best part of developing the staircase mindset:
One day you’re going to look at the next step and notice realize you’re on the top one.
You will have gotten there with the help of positive focus and language.
Want to create a positive frame of mind?
Want to stay motivated and get through the difficult challenges?
Eliminate that dirty word, “sh****.”
Want help creating a positive mindset about speaking or presentations? Let’s talk.
Contact me at SpeakingCPR.com or email me: email@example.com.