Have you ever watched a speech with a good, memorable message, but felt something wasnโt right?
There could be several reasons. One of the most common is incongruity between the speakers words and her face.
I’ve heard too many speakers convey one emotion with their words, but display another with their faces.
For example, Johnย was sharing a story about his motherโs serious illness. It was a well written scene, and has the potential to create an emotional impact.
There was one problem. As Johnย told the story, he had a slight smile. I was distracted because I had one thought, โWhy is he smiling?โ
During our debrief, I said, โJohn, do you realize you were smiling while you told me about your momโs illness?โ
He looked surprised. โI was?โ
I said, โYes. I know you werenโt happy about the situation.ย Why do you think you were smiling?โ
After additional discussion,ย John came to the realizationย why he was smiling. โI think itโs because I was nervous.โ
Typically, that’s the reason people smile during serious scenes in a speech.
The point to take away from this is that, if youโre not careful, your face will send a mixed message to your audience. They might not know why they feel something doesn’t make sense.ย Theyโll walk away not completely sold on your message.
If you want to understand this issue further, see my blogpost from 2014. It discusses a famous, often misquoted, study about verbal and physical incongruity in communication. To read the article, click here.
How do you solve this problem?
Video record yourself giving your speech.
Then, watch yourself giving your speech.
This may seem obvious, but, Iโve met countless people who never watch their recordings.ย They tell me โI hate to watch myselfโ or โI hate the sound of my voice.โ That may be true, but, to quote my friend and mentor Darren LaCroix, โToo bad!ย WE had to listenโฆโ So should you!
This is meant to be funny. But there is a serious point. If you want to leave the biggest possible impact with your speech, watch and listen to it. That’s the quickest way to discover and eliminate incongruity.
To maximize the effect of viewing speech recordings, my mentors suggest watching three times:
#1 – With the sound off, video only. This enables you to focus on distracting mannerisms in your body and face.
#2 – At double speed. This will cause specific habits to jump out at you. At double speed, they become more obvious
#3 – With both sound and video. This will help you review the congruity of your message with the physical delivery of the speech.
If you have a message with sharing, itโs also worth reviewing. This can ensure you arenโt confusing your audience. Record and review your delivery. You’ll create the best possible experience, and leave the greatest impact on your audience.
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