A Secret To Connecting With Others When You Speak
When You Speak, Are You Willing to Share Your Pain?
Why do most presenters fail to make a deep connection when they speak? Unfortunately, they fail to touch people emotionally because they’re too busy building themselves up. They talk about their successes, with little mention of their struggles along the way.
Unwittingly, they are committing a fundamental mistake – alienating themselves from the audience. My speech coach, Craig Valentine, put it best. “When they build themselves up, they tear the audience down.”
Why? Because when you tell them how great you are, they may think, “That’s nice for you, but that couldn’t work for me,” or “Well, you’re just special.”
Are You Coming Across as ‘Special’ to Your Audiences When You Speak?
Why do most presenters share their victories first?
Perhaps it’s insecurity. Or maybe it’s because they don’t understand that telling others about your struggles, strife and setbacks is the quickest way to make audience members feel like you.
Very few have climbed Mt Everest, lost a limb to a disease or won Olympic Gold. However, most people have experienced the struggles of dealing with children, conflict with co-workers, or the aggravation of a bad day. When you share those experiences, people think, “Wow, I’m not the only one that’s happened to,” or “Glad that didn’t happen to me!” They’ll realize that you’re just like them.
When Should You Speak About Success?
Once you’ve shared the story of your difficulty, it’s important to them about the success you experienced. People don’t want to leave a speech on a down note. They want to leave with hope – if you got through that tough time, so can they.
You may have been taught that you will connect with people by telling them about your successes. The truth is, you’re more likely to be heard – and people are more likely to act on your main message – if you resist the temptation to be special and instead share your struggles, strife, and setbacks. This message will let the audience understand they are not alone, and that there is hope.
What are your experiences with speakers who share their struggles and those who use the platform to brag about their great successes?
Recommended Resource
Sell More With Stories – Book 3: Gain Trust With Your “WHY” Story
Sell More With Stories – Book 3: How To Gain Trust With Your “WHY” Story
Want to quickly get past the walls of distrust and skepticism of prospective clients?
Want to create a connection with others that lays the foundation for long-term mutually beneficial client relationships?
‘How to Gain Trust With Your “WHY” Story’ shows you how to do just that.
In this book, you’ll pick up the processes and tools to craft stories that separate you from other salespeople. You won’t spew facts and figures about you or your company. You’ll share stories that connect with others on a deep, emotional level. This type of story can shorten your sales cycle, because it builds trust faster, and encourages your clients to open up more to you.
To learn this Stand OUT story structure that can increase your sales while reducing the stress of the selling process, get your copy of book 3 in the ‘Sell More With Stories’ series: ‘How to Gain Trust With Your “WHY” Story.’ Visit: http://amzn.to/2kEiUg0
Michael’s mission is to help leaders, managers and sales professionals communicate with more confidence, impact, and influence. This passion is born from his own communication difficulties early in his career.
Fortunately, he discovered that public speaking is like riding a bike, swimming or driving a car - it’s a learnable skill. Once he discovered this ‘secret’ he became a voracious student of the craft. He took courses, studied some of the world’s best speakers and storytellers and continues to study presentation and business storytelling skills.
He is hired by companies and organizations, leaders, managers and sales professionals, and TEDx speakers to help them become more confident, impactful and influential communicators.
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