โIf you want to reach your audience, ya gotta get โem laughinโ one minute, and cryingโ the next.โ
Have you ever heard advice that sounded good, but ultimately, held you back or kept you from taking action?
I have. It was the โwisdomโ that started this post. It was from a well-known and highly paid professional speaker. I was a novice when I first heard it, so I thought, โThatโs the ticket to speaking success.โ
So, for the next eight years, I did my best to follow his advice and proceeded to attainโฆ
A level of unparalleled mediocrity and forgettability.
The Root Of The Problem
The challenge with the kind of blanket statement I had bought into is that all advice does not apply to all people.
Iโm a pretty funny person and laugh a lot, but, when it comes to crying, I donโt do it that often. My stories donโt elicit sobs and streams of tears. Itโs not who I am. My style lends itself to humor and sarcasm, with (hopefully) doses of sprinkled throughout.
But, for nearly a decade, I didnโt understand myself nor my style, and I lacked the confidence to present in my natural personality. I tried to be Inspirational Speaker Man!
I presented inauthentic stories that didnโt connect with audience. Theyย could see I wasnโt being real. Unfortunately I couldnโt see it. I keep telling story after story that was slightly manipulative in order to force the audience to cry because I was supposed to get โem laughinโ one minute, and cryingโ the next.โ
I Finally See The Light
Fortunately, I met a speaker who took me under his wing. One of first tasks was to help me see the light. โThat advice may have worked for that speaker, but it doesnโt mean it applies to you.โ
Who knew?
I thought if a well known speaker said it, the idea must apply to everyone.
In one sentence, I discovered two lessons:
Thereโs no such animal as a โuniversal truthโ that applies to every person.
To be true to your audience, you have to be true to yourself.
Armed with this new knowledge, I began a transformation. I cut out all of the material from my stories that was inauthentic and inserted simply to evoke tears. I spoke from my humorous, sarcastic and teaching frame of mind.
Miracle!
Audiences began to respond more positively. I heard comments like, โIโve never hear you sound more realโ and โI felt like that was the real you up thereโ and โYou didnโt feel preachy up there.โ
Being real and not trying to be what Iโm not made all the difference.
Ironically, more than once, people approached me with tears in their eyes and told me, โThank you, I needed to hear your message today.โ Those moments mean more to me because they werenโt forced or manipulated, they came from a place of human-to-human connection and my authentic experiences.
We have more information available to us than ever. Itโs easy to read or hear โwisdomโ from headlines or soundbites that on the surface make sense. However, dig deeper and youโll often find those ideas arenโt relevant or donโt apply to you.
Is it possible youโre being held back or led astray by a piece of advice that works well for someone else?
Donโt make my eight year mistake and let yourself be led down the wrong path.
Be true to yourself.
Recommended Resource
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