(This is the second of four posts about quickly gaining buy-in to your message. If you missed the first post, click here)
Youโve opened your story and your audience is leaning in to hear more. You’ve created tension and the cortisol is pumping through their bodies.
ย
Now it’s time to develop a bond with them. This is the point where you begin to earn their trust.
How Do You Do That?
Create the release of oxytocin in the listener.
ย
This neurotransmitter is released when you hear a sensory-rich and emotional story. It creates trust and human connection.
ย
The way to do this is to share your struggles, strife, or setbacks. Tell about a time when you faced a challenge that you couldโt overcome by yourself.
ย
This is not the time to talk about your accomplishments and your successes.
ย
When you tell others about your difficulties, you create empathy. Audiences have thoughts like:
ย
โIโve been thereโ
ย
โI can relateโ
ย
โSounds familiarโ
ย
These reactions also lead to the belief, โIf this person is willing to share their difficulties, I can trust them.โ
ย
This isn’t a conscious thought, it usually occurs under the radar in our subconscious.
Why This Works
This is important because youโre showing the audience that you’re like them. We tend to trust people who are like us.
When youโre in a leadership position, this is vital. It strips away titles and positions, and creates a human connection.
ย
In the last post, you read about my boss telling me, “You’re a lousy speaker. And your stories suck.โ
ย
Here’s the backstory to that incident:
ย
When I was six years old, I got in trouble in school. My punishment was that I had to stand on my desk during nap time. All my classmates would see me.
ย
I stood on that desk for 45 minutes. When I stepped down, I thought, โNever stand in front of people again. That was awful.โ
ย
For the next twenty five years, I never volunteered to stand in front of people. When work duties forced me to, I was terrified people would laugh at and humiliate me.
ย
Iโd buried that incident for decades, until I boss threatened to fire me because of my poor speaking skills. Now I had to deal with it, or lose my job.
ย
When I share this story with audiences, I hear feedback like,
ย
โI had something similar happen to me.โ
ย
โMy third grade teacher embarrassed meโ
ย
โMy bad experience makes me fear making a mistake every time I speak.โ
ย
This story bonds me with audiences. They trust me when I tell them, โThat experience is the reason Iโm an author, trainer and speaker today. I know the pain of embarrassment, humiliation and regret. My purpose is to help you avoid that pain. I want to help you succeed without going through the time, money and emotion I did.”
The Oxytocin Impact
At this point, Iโve earned a higher level of trust with the audience. Iโve been vulnerable enough to share a painful memory which sets up my โWHY?โ
ย
Oxytocin is now flowing through their bodies. Theyโre open to new ideas and taking action that will improve their lives.
ย
They trust you and youโre in a position to trigger another emotion. This one will encourage them to take action.
ย
Youโll read about that in the next post.
RECOMMENDED RESOURCE
Are These Seven Storytelling Mistakes Costing You Money or Opportunities?
Want to be a more effective storyteller?
Avoid seven common mistakes that kill the impact of most stories. Our FREE report gives you insight into these errors and how to avoid them.
To download the report (no-cost & no-obligation) visit:
Earn Trust With One Simple Step In Your Story
ultima modifica: 2022-11-22T16:24:59-05:00
da
Michaelโs mission is to help leaders, managers and sales professionals communicate with more confidence, impact, and influence. This passion is born from his own communication difficulties early in his career.
Fortunately, he discovered that public speaking is like riding a bike, swimming or driving a car - itโs a learnable skill. Once he discovered this โsecretโ he became a voracious student of the craft. He took courses, studied some of the worldโs best speakers and storytellers and continues to study presentation and business storytelling skills.
He is hired by companies and organizations, leaders, managers and sales professionals, and TEDx speakers to help them become more confident, impactful and influential communicators.
Address:
Phone: 
