Speaking Lessons From a Success Expert
I’m a big fan of Darren Hardy.
Who’s he?
He’s the former editor of SUCCESS magazine. He is a modern-day expert on success. He’s interviewed and studied many of the world’s most successful people.
With such a background, you’d expect that Darren has a unique perspective on the topic of success.
He does.
THESE People Can Help Me With Speaking?
In a recent video he introduced these quotes that surprised me because they don’t talk about success:
A man who said:
“When I’m scheduled to speak to any size audience – I wake up twice a month in a cold sweat, panicked 
they’ll find him out I’m a fraud.”
they’ll find him out I’m a fraud.”A woman who said:
“I have varying degrees of confidence and self-loathing. I often doubt my talent and fear they’re going to find out that I don’t know what I’m doing”
Another man who said:
“I still doubt myself EVERY SINGLE DAY. What people believe is my self-confidence is actually my reaction to fear.”
One other woman who said:
“They’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody. And they’re going to find me out”
These individuals must be failures! People you’ve never heard of. Darren must be sharing these as examples of how NOT to think, right?
How Can a Negative Mindset Help Your Speaking?
Well, actually, you haven’t heard of the first one because he asked to remain anonymous. His reasons make good business sense. But, he is the CEO of a $4 billion multinational corporation. He started in the mailroom and rose to the top position. His company weathered the Great Recession of 2008. It thrived while most of his competitors were wiped out.
Quite a success. But, when he has to give speeches, he doesn’t feel that way. As he says, “When I have to speak to any size audience — whether 3 or 30,000 — I wake up twice a month in a cold sweat, panicked they’ll find him out I’m a fraud.”
You do know the other three people:
Meryl Streep, the most honored actor of all time with 3 Academy Awards and 20 total nominations. She has said:
“I have varying degrees of confidence and self-loathing. I often doubt my talent and fear they’re going to find out that I don’t know what I’m doing”
Will Smith, the accomplished actor, musician, and producer, said:
“I still doubt myself EVERY SINGLE DAY. What people believe is my self-confidence is actually my reaction to fear.”
Maya Angelou, famed poet and civil rights activist, said:
“They’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody. And they’re going to find me out”
The Syndrome That We All Experience
Successful people in their chosen fields and they feel this way?
How can this be?
The reality is, they’re no different than you or me. They experience the ‘Imposter Syndrome.’
You may not be familiar with this. It’s defined as a psychological pattern in which people doubt their accomplishments. They have a persistent fear of being exposed as a “fraud.”
Here’s an interesting discovery made by Darren Hardy:
The higher your level of accomplishment, the more vulnerable you are to the Imposter Syndrome.
As Darren says, “The higher you go, the more human you become.”
What does this have to do with speaking and business storytelling?
Everything.
How Speaking Makes You Vulnerable to This Syndrome
Speaking is one of the most intimidating and scary experiences many people face. In fact, some research shows that it’s normal — it’s human — to experience these fears. Accomplished individuals feel it, sometimes every day.
Many people I’ve worked with have had the thought, “Why did they choose me? I’m sure there are more accomplished people who could be speaking.” Or, some variation of those thoughts.
These thoughts may pop into your head, and that’s OK. It’s common.
What’s not OK is allowing these feelings to debilitate you, or keep you from taking action. What the super-achievers do is use those feelings to push them.
To quote Darren Hardy, “Humans are designed to THRIVE on pressure. Use that internal pressure to push you to action.”
So, the next time you’re preparing to speak, and you feel anxiety rising in your chest or your throat, and your heart is beating faster, and your breathing quickens, remind yourself:
“I’m normal. It’s OK to feel this way.”
Remind yourself that many successful people feel the same way.
Then, remember why you’re there to speak. For the audience, who needs the message you came to share.
Do this, and you won’t feel like an imposter, because you’re not one.
RECOMMENDED RESOURCE
If you’re interested in picking up secrets of the super successful, I highly recommend Darren’s video series, Darren Daily, To get your daily dose of his wisdom, visit:
http://dd.darrenhardy.com/
These Frauds Can Help Your Speaking
ultima modifica: 2018-05-05T08:42:29-04:00
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Michael’s mission is to help leaders, managers and sales professionals communicate with more confidence, impact, and influence. This passion is born from his own communication difficulties early in his career.
Fortunately, he discovered that public speaking is like riding a bike, swimming or driving a car - it’s a learnable skill. Once he discovered this ‘secret’ he became a voracious student of the craft. He took courses, studied some of the world’s best speakers and storytellers and continues to study presentation and business storytelling skills.
He is hired by companies and organizations, leaders, managers and sales professionals, and TEDx speakers to help them become more confident, impactful and influential communicators.
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