Is your speech connecting, or manipulating others?
Have you ever listened to a speech, and for some reason, felt uncomfortable? Either the words, or the way they were said, left you with a negative feeling. You may have even felt manipulated.
This can occur when a speech touches your emotions with no specific reason, other than to stir those emotions. For example, a presenter talking about staying motivated in a difficult economy may say, “Raise your hand if you’d like to feel better and more upbeat in the midst of this turbulent economy.”
Who DOESN’T want to feel better in tough times? Everyone is going to raise his or her hand. This question feels like a sales tactic, and not a sincere concern for your feelings.
A Better Way to Ask…
What is a better way to make this point and help the crowd?
Say “If I would ask you if you’d like to feel better and more upbeat in the midst of this turbulent economy, you’d probably say ‘Yes, Mike, I would.’ The important question then becomes ‘How do you do that?’ In the next 45 minutes, you will learn a process that gives you more energy, helps you feel more upbeat and creates an optimistic outlook on the future.”
Do you see the difference? One is a question that tries to capitalize on your fear; the other states a common feeling among the group, then presents a possible solution to the audience if they listen to the rest of your presentation.
An Important Question to Ask Yourself
Are you unknowingly manipulating your audiences? It’s an easy trap to fall into, and every speaker has done it. It feels like you’re getting them involved, but make sure that you’re connecting with, and not alienating them.
As you’re writing your speech, ask yourself ‘How would I feel if I was asked this question? Does it have a purpose, is it moving my speech along, or am I just stating the obvious to stir up their emotions?‘
If you don’t like your answer, change the question into a statement that will let the listeners know you understand how they are feeling. Then introduce your key concepts that can benefit them. Your audience will feel more connected to you, and be encouraged to ‘come along for the ride.’
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Michael’s mission is to help leaders, managers and sales professionals communicate with more confidence, impact, and influence. This passion is born from his own communication difficulties early in his career.
Fortunately, he discovered that public speaking is like riding a bike, swimming or driving a car - it’s a learnable skill. Once he discovered this ‘secret’ he became a voracious student of the craft. He took courses, studied some of the world’s best speakers and storytellers and continues to study presentation and business storytelling skills.
He is hired by companies and organizations, leaders, managers and sales professionals, and TEDx speakers to help them become more confident, impactful and influential communicators.
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