Is This Belief About Speaking True?
For many years, you may have heard about a magical list that claims public speaking is our number one fear.
Iโve always questioned this because THE List is nowhere to be found.
Iโve recently researched the topic of fear. As you know, if you find the information on the Internet, it must be true, right?ย
Maybeโฆpossiblyโฆ.perhaps.ย
There are several sources that list top fears. None of them have the same top fear.
Recently, a more credible source shined a light on this subject. Heโs Ed Tate, CSP, 2000 World Champion of Public Speaking. Ed is known for doing his research and knowing his topic. During a breakout session, he told us, โPublic speaking isnโt the number one fear.โ
The energy in the room shifted. The audience was surprised to hear such blasphemy about a widely accepted belief.
He continued, โThe number one fear isโฆ
โEmbarrassment.
โThe number two fear isโฆ
โWalking into a room full of strangers.โ
His statements make sense. Itโs been said that if you speak outside of your home, youโre engaged in public speaking. This is obviously an over-simplification of the topic, but there is truth to it.
If you think about public speaking, unless you’re physically unable to, many times you have stood before groups of people โ be it two, or two hundred โ and spoken. Youโve shared your opinion, your beliefs, or a story or two.
Youโve also been embarrassed at some point in your life.
Most likely, youโve also had at least one experience in which you entered a room where you didnโt know one person.ย You probably felt some level of intimidation.
Public speaking is the perfect vehicle to combine these two fears. You might say a word, or an entire sentence, that causes people to laugh at you. These people might be strangers.
Considering these factors, doesnโt it make sense that pubic speaking isnโt our number one fear? Itโs merely a vehicle that might lead to two of our greatest fears โ embarrassment and being in a room full of strangers.
I understand that not everyone is afraid of embarrassment. A select few thrive on it. The same is true for meeting strangers. A minority of people love those situations.
For most, though, these two fears are strong enough that public speaking creates a potential for a negative experience.
How do you manage these fears?
Two ideas to keep in mind:
One, remember that the people before you โ whether strangers or friends โ are not looking for perfection. They want you to be authentic. Occasional mistakes and missteps are part of communication. Be yourself and accept that occasional errors will occur.
Two, keep in mind that every person youโve ever met was a stranger at one time. For the rest of your life, when you meet someone new, there is a possibility youย could say or do something that causes embarrassment.
This is where public speaking is a huge benefit!
Which would you rather experience:
Risk doing or saying something embarrassing 50 times (meeting 50 individuals, one-at-a-time), or,
Embarrass yourself once in front of 50 people. If youโre going to make the mistake, do it once in front of a group and be done with it!
Alright, maybe youโre not sold on that concept. The point is, donโt take public speaking so seriously. It isn’t not our greatest fear. ย Itย isย an activity that could create a situation where you feel uncomfortable.
Most importantly, itโs not life or deathโฆ.
It only feels that way!
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