STORYTELLING IS EVERYWHERE
It seems like every time you turn around, someone new is extolling the virtues of storytelling.
And this inspires the question, โIs storytelling really that important?โ
It is, and thereโs plenty of research to back this fact. For example, sensory-rich, emotional stories trigger the release of hormones like Oxytocin, Dopamine, and Endorphins in your body.
Consider the work of Uri Hasson and his team at Princeton University. In a series of studies using MRIs they discovered that when people listen to the same story, their brains become โaligned.โ They react as if theyโre experiencing the story
Why Science Isnโt Enough
This research is fascinating, but thereโs one problem with it โ itโs too theoretical. The ideas sound good, but, you donโt know that these hormones are flooding through your body. You donโt feel your brain waves creating specific patterns.
Iโm guessing that the following doesnโt happen when you watch an exciting movie, read a thrilling novel or listen to an interesting TED talk. You probably donโt sit back and think, โWow, Iโll bet those endorphins are racing through my bloodstream.โ Or, โAre my brain images synched with the other people watching this movie.โ
Thatโs not what happens. You simply enjoy the movie, book or talk.
The Simple Proof
For five years, Iโve searched for an experiential exercise that proves that we think in stories. I finally found one in the work of Dr. Kendall Haven โ a leading researcher on the impact of stories on our brains. The exercise he inspired is simple, but it proves the relationship between our brains and stories.
Hereโs the exercise:
Youโre about to read two sentences. Once you read them, pause three to five-seconds before you then read two questions. Once you read the questions, what are the first responses that come to your mind?
Keep in mind, there are no right or wrong answers. Donโt edit or censor yourself, just answer the questions.
Here are the two statements:
- Person A says, โHave you seen John?โ
- Person B says, โI didnโt want to say anything, but I saw a red Honda Civic in Janetโs driveway this morning.โ
<Pause for reflection>
Here are the two follow-up questions:
- Whatโs going on here?
- What is the relationship between these 4 people โ Person A, Person B, John, and Janet?
<Pause for reflection>
How did you respond?
When I ask this question in my presentations, I get a wide variety of answers. The most common is, โThereโs an affair going on.โ
The Common Problem With This Exercise
Once I hear three or four responses, I inform the audience that there is a flaw in this exercise. And itโs my fault.
The problem is that I failed to provide you with context. I didnโt say โPerson A said to Person B โHave you seen John?โ โ
I said, โPerson A says, โHave you seen John?โ and Person B says, โI didnโt want to say anything, but I saw a red Honda Civic in Janetโs driveway this morning.โ
Person A may have been talking to person B, or they could be two people having separate conversations. I wasnโt clear and didnโt give you context.
Hereโs whatโs interesting. With the information you read, your brain created a story to fill in the missing gaps. Research has shown that our brains donโt like uncertainty. Thus, they will create the most likely story based on past experiences.
Why should you care about this?
What relevance does this have to you?
You create a problem if you arenโt clear in your communications. The people youโre talking with are crafting a story you do not want them telling themselves.
If youโre a salesperson, and prospective clients arenโt buying, itโs because their story doesnโt show them the benefit of your product or service.
If youโre a leader and people arenโt following you, itโs because their story doesnโt show them the benefit of the vision youโre presenting to them.
If youโre struggling to parent a child, your kidโs story isnโt showing him/her the benefit of the idea youโre presenting.
These are three of the countless examples of relationships we experience. And these interactions have one aspect in common. The brain of everyone involved is always creating stories.
Three Short Questions To Answer For Better Communication
The next time you prepare to talk with a loved one, co-worker or group, ask yourself, โAm I being clear? Am I giving the right context? Will the words Iโm about to say enable them to create the story I want them to tell themselves?โ
Do this, and your impact and influence will improve.