Why Nerves Can Be a Asset When You Speak

Rachel is a new client is now required to speak before an audience. Itโ€™s our first meeting, the one in which I discover what your objectives are and how to work withย you so that you present a clear and meaningful message.

She is sitting across the table from me. She says, โ€œMichael, I need help. Iโ€™ve got to give this speech nextFear of Public Speakingย month and Iโ€™m scared to death. How can I get rid of my nerves?โ€

After a long pause, I reply, โ€œI wouldnโ€™t suggest that, Rachel.โ€

Surprised, she says, โ€œWhat do you mean? When Iโ€™m nervous I do terrible when I speak in frontย of people.โ€

โ€œRachel, what causes your nervousness?โ€

After considering this question for a while, she answers, with some hesitation, โ€œMy emotions?โ€

โ€œYes! Those emotions are evidence that you care about your speech. The real issue youโ€™re dealing with isnโ€™t your nervesโ€ฆ.itโ€™s your focus.โ€

Confusion spreads across her face. She says, โ€œI donโ€™t understand.โ€

โ€œMaybe this will help. Before you give a talk, and youโ€™re feeling nervous, what are you thinking about?โ€

She looks up and to her right for several seconds. โ€œWell, Iโ€™m concerned that Iโ€™m going to forget what Iโ€™m going to say.โ€

โ€œOk. What else?โ€ I ask.

โ€œHmmm. I donโ€™t want to look like I donโ€™t know what Iโ€™m talking about.โ€

โ€œAlright. Give me one more thought thatโ€™s running around in there,โ€ I reply.

With a long sigh, she says, โ€œIโ€™m afraidโ€ฆIโ€™m afraid Iโ€™ll make a bunch of mistakes.โ€

After considering her responses, I say, โ€œUnderstandable, and precisely why your nerves are controlling you. Rachel, who are you focused on with the three concerns you just shared with me?โ€

โ€œMe,โ€ she quickly answers.

โ€œWho should your focus be on?โ€

With a sheepish smile, she says โ€œThe audience.โ€

โ€œPrecisely. Your focus on you is creating levels of nervousness you and your audience donโ€™t need. Contrary to popular opinion, nerves are good. Again, they show you care.ย  When you shift your concern to what the audience will get, youโ€™ll be in a better position to manage your nerves.

I pause to let this sink in.

โ€œRachel, the hard truth is, when you speak, audiences donโ€™t care whether you โ€˜look good,โ€™ are โ€˜super successful,โ€™ or whether you make a few stumbles in your presentation. An occasional mistake is actually good – it lets the audience know youโ€™re just as human as they are.

What they want is your perspective on a common problem theyโ€™re dealing with. As important as this speech is to you, donโ€™t forget that the time you spend with them is a tiny sliver of their lives.โ€

โ€œYou make it sound like my speech isnโ€™t important at all,โ€ Rachel shoots back at me.

โ€œNot at all. Iโ€™m not making myself completely clear. My point is, when you work hard on a speech, itโ€™s easy to lose perspective. Your speech can have a significant impact on an audience.

But it has no chance of doing that if you continue to focus on you – how you look, how you sound, how this speech will impact your career. Your audience doesnโ€™t care about any of that. The burning question thatโ€™s on their minds is, โ€œWhat ya got for me? How can you make my life a little better?โ€

โ€œWow,โ€ Rachel says. โ€œIโ€™ve never thought of it that way.โ€

โ€œThatโ€™s why you hired me!โ€ I reply in my sarcastic, yet strangely humorousย manner.ย  โ€œSeriously, Rachel, remember that you want to manage your nerves, not eliminate them. Those nerves give you an extra energy-boost, a shot of adrenaline that canย draw peopleย deeper into your talk.ย The first step toward doing that is changing your focus from you to the audience.โ€

โ€œWhatโ€™s the second step?โ€ Rachel eagerly asks.

โ€œThat, my friend, will have to wait until our next meeting, because you have plenty to work on before your learn that step. Until next week, craft your speech around the idea of what the audience will receive from this talkโ€ฆ..โ€

Tune in next week so that you, along with Rachel, can learn the second step to managing – not eliminating – your nerves when you speak.

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Be Nervous Before You Speak ultima modifica: 2015-12-05T14:26:23-05:00 da Michael Davis