Why Nerves Can Be a Asset When You Speak
Rachel is a new client is now required to speak before an audience. Itโs our first meeting, the one in which I discover what your objectives are and how to work withย you so that you present a clear and meaningful message.
She is sitting across the table from me. She says, โMichael, I need help. Iโve got to give this speech nextย month and Iโm scared to death. How can I get rid of my nerves?โ
After a long pause, I reply, โI wouldnโt suggest that, Rachel.โ
Surprised, she says, โWhat do you mean? When Iโm nervous I do terrible when I speak in frontย of people.โ
โRachel, what causes your nervousness?โ
After considering this question for a while, she answers, with some hesitation, โMy emotions?โ
โYes! Those emotions are evidence that you care about your speech. The real issue youโre dealing with isnโt your nervesโฆ.itโs your focus.โ
Confusion spreads across her face. She says, โI donโt understand.โ
โMaybe this will help. Before you give a talk, and youโre feeling nervous, what are you thinking about?โ
She looks up and to her right for several seconds. โWell, Iโm concerned that Iโm going to forget what Iโm going to say.โ
โOk. What else?โ I ask.
โHmmm. I donโt want to look like I donโt know what Iโm talking about.โ
โAlright. Give me one more thought thatโs running around in there,โ I reply.
With a long sigh, she says, โIโm afraidโฆIโm afraid Iโll make a bunch of mistakes.โ
After considering her responses, I say, โUnderstandable, and precisely why your nerves are controlling you. Rachel, who are you focused on with the three concerns you just shared with me?โ
โMe,โ she quickly answers.
โWho should your focus be on?โ
With a sheepish smile, she says โThe audience.โ
โPrecisely. Your focus on you is creating levels of nervousness you and your audience donโt need. Contrary to popular opinion, nerves are good. Again, they show you care.ย When you shift your concern to what the audience will get, youโll be in a better position to manage your nerves.
I pause to let this sink in.
โRachel, the hard truth is, when you speak, audiences donโt care whether you โlook good,โ are โsuper successful,โ or whether you make a few stumbles in your presentation. An occasional mistake is actually good – it lets the audience know youโre just as human as they are.
What they want is your perspective on a common problem theyโre dealing with. As important as this speech is to you, donโt forget that the time you spend with them is a tiny sliver of their lives.โ
โYou make it sound like my speech isnโt important at all,โ Rachel shoots back at me.
โNot at all. Iโm not making myself completely clear. My point is, when you work hard on a speech, itโs easy to lose perspective. Your speech can have a significant impact on an audience.
But it has no chance of doing that if you continue to focus on you – how you look, how you sound, how this speech will impact your career. Your audience doesnโt care about any of that. The burning question thatโs on their minds is, โWhat ya got for me? How can you make my life a little better?โ
โWow,โ Rachel says. โIโve never thought of it that way.โ
โThatโs why you hired me!โ I reply in my sarcastic, yet strangely humorousย manner.ย โSeriously, Rachel, remember that you want to manage your nerves, not eliminate them. Those nerves give you an extra energy-boost, a shot of adrenaline that canย draw peopleย deeper into your talk.ย The first step toward doing that is changing your focus from you to the audience.โ
โWhatโs the second step?โ Rachel eagerly asks.
โThat, my friend, will have to wait until our next meeting, because you have plenty to work on before your learn that step. Until next week, craft your speech around the idea of what the audience will receive from this talkโฆ..โ
Tune in next week so that you, along with Rachel, can learn the second step to managing – not eliminating – your nerves when you speak.
RECOMMENDED RESOURCE OF THE WEEK
‘THE Book on Storytelling.’ย Master the craft of storytelling and:
- Increase your confidence
- Attract more qualified clients
- Accomplish more, faster
- Create deeper levels of trust clients
- Have more fun when youย give presentations
Learn how the best speakers, storytellers and presenters develop and deliver stories that immediately grab audience attention, keep them on the edge of their seats, and inspire them to act on yourย message. This step-by-step ‘playbook’ willย give you the skills that save you time, money and frustration and help you become better known in your industry.
For more details, and to order the soft-cover version, click here.ย For the Kindle version, click here.