Your Most Important Connection When You Speak

Feb 22, 2020 | Advanced Public Speaking Skills, Connect with Every Audience, Overcome Fear of Speaking, Public Speaking Tips, Speaking Tip, Stand OUT! Speaking Tip, Tell a Story, Make Your Point | 0 comments

So Obvious I Missed It

For years, I have challenged clients to strive for connection with their audience. If you connect with the people sitting in front of you, they’re more likely to hear your message and act on it. Makes sense, right?

There’s one problem with this advice, and that didn’t become clear to me until a recent coaching call. There is one important person you must connect with before you can create a bond with your audience….

YOURSELF!

What Does It Mean To ‘Connect With Yourself?’

It means that you have to completely buy into and live your message and your story. You have to believe that they have value to others.

You and I have heard far too many people give forgettable presentations. They didn’t sell you on their ideas.

Why?

Most likely because they weren’t authentic and most likely didn’t believe in their message.

If you don’t believe in the power of your message, there is no way your audience will.

My Mother’s Lesson

Most don’t understand the power of their experiences. I learned this in 2010 when I was a novice public speaking skills coach.

My mother and I were chatting over lunch. She was telling me about her childhood experiences in France. She was born in the early days of the German occupation in World War 2.

She said, “Almost every night, we’d hear the air raid sirens. It was pitch-black because there were blackout conditions. Your grandparents would grab me and my sister. They’d run down the steps from our apartment above the factory. It was about 50 yards across the parking lot into the bomb shelter.”

“In the mornings, when we woke up, our first question wasn’t, “What are we going to eat today?” It was, “ARE we going to eat today?” Every day, your grandpa would walk a quarter-mile into the village. He’d stand by the food trucks while the German soldiers unloaded them.

Sometimes, potatoes would spill out of one of the burlap bags and he’d scoop them up and put them in his pocket. That was a good day because we got to eat potato soup.”

She was telling me this in my air-conditioned home in a suburb of Cincinnati, Ohio. I lived 3 minutes from a grocery store that has fully-stocked shelves 24 hours a day. I’d grown up in a safe small town and never felt in danger. I couldn’t conceive of what she’d told me.

After several seconds, all I could think to say was, “Mom, how did you and Grandma and Grandpa do that?”

She looked at me for several seconds, then shrugged her shoulders and said, “Honey, it’s just what we did. We had to survive.”

Why People Don’t See The Magic in Their Stories

Magic moment! With those words, Mom taught me that most people discount their experiences. Why? Because ‘it’s just what we did.” No matter how different or difficult a person’s experience, it was normal to that person.

Many people have grown up in a war-torn country. Or lived in a high-crime neighborhood. Or dealt with a devastating physical injury. They adjusted and did what they had to so that they could survive. They were often surrounded by people going through similar experiences.

Is it any wonder that they don’t see their life as extraordinary or special?

How Does This Connect You With Yourself?

When I brought this perspective to my Mom’s attention, she said, “I never thought of it that way. It doesn’t seem special to me.” Since that conversation, she now has a different perspective on the impact of her story.

And that’s my suggestion to you. Tell your story to others who don’t know you well. Join Toastmasters. Take a Dale Carnegie course. Apply to speak at a storytelling event like the Moth. Get feedback. Ask what parts of your story stand out — and why?

Once you gain a new perspective on your story, a new message or premise may jump out at you. You’ll have a new viewpoint. You’ll no longer see your experiences as “just what we did.” You’ll see them as an opportunity to inspire and influence others.

And, you will connect with yourself at a deeper level.

Your Most Important Connection When You Speak ultima modifica: 2020-02-22T11:20:00-05:00 da Michael Davis

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"Michael transformed our everyday managers into conference presenters by coaching them and by challenging the traditional methods they were using to present. The outcome was phenomenal.

Our conference was elevated to a new level of professionalism. Michael will be retained to help make our trainers become better communicators, both visually and verbally and to assist us with next year’s conference. We highly recommend him and Speaking CPR to assist with your next event."

Robert Gerbus, President, Trans Ash, Inc.

Speaking CPR

2018-05-10T09:44:06-04:00

Robert Gerbus, President, Trans Ash, Inc.

"Michael transformed our everyday managers into conference presenters by coaching them and by challenging the traditional methods they were using to present. The outcome was phenomenal. Our conference was elevated to a new level of professionalism. Michael will be retained to help make our trainers become better communicators, both visually and verbally and to assist us with next year’s conference. We highly recommend him and Speaking CPR to assist with your next event."

https://speakingcpr.com/testimonials/robert-gerbus/

“As a former Green Beret and professional storyteller, I give dozens of speeches every year. I am very selective about who trains me.

Michael Davis exceeded every expectation and was one of the best coaches I ever worked with. His quiet professionalism, and unsurpassed knowledge of storytelling helped make my Ted X Cincinnati talk extremely powerful.
I would recommend Michael, as a story and speaking coach to anyone with a high stakes talk to give. Michael will help you take your speech from good to great!”

LTC (Ret.) Scott Mann, Green Beret, Storyteller, Trainer, Coach, Author

Speaking CPR

2018-05-10T09:45:38-04:00

LTC (Ret.) Scott Mann, Green Beret, Storyteller, Trainer, Coach, Author

“As a former Green Beret and professional storyteller, I give dozens of speeches every year. I am very selective about who trains me. Michael Davis exceeded every expectation and was one of the best coaches I ever worked with. His quiet professionalism, and unsurpassed knowledge of storytelling helped make my Ted X Cincinnati talk extremely powerful. I would recommend Michael, as a story and speaking coach to anyone with a high stakes talk to give. Michael will help you take your speech from good to great!”

https://speakingcpr.com/testimonials/ltc-ret-scott-mann/

“We are privileged to have Michael Davis of Speaking CPR as one of the Speaker Coaches for our TED x Cincinnati event. I had the opportunity to be on several of the calls with Michael as he worked his craft with his speakers. I was impressed with how genuine, exuberant, and in touch he was with each speaker.

He truly has a gift in connecting with the heart of each person he works with and helping them to unleash their story into their talk. All of the speakers raved about his work with them. Each of them has had broad experience in speaking, but they all felt that working with Michael raised the bar on their ability to speak. You can listen to all of his speakers, Anthony Munoz, Richard Bernstein and Graeme Joffe, at http://www.tedxcincinnati.com/talks/.”

Allison Wonders Gars
Speaker Coach Manager, TED x Cincinnati

Speaking CPR

2018-03-20T17:08:04-04:00

Allison Wonders Gars
Speaker Coach Manager, TED x Cincinnati

“We are privileged to have Michael Davis of Speaking CPR as one of the Speaker Coaches for our TED x Cincinnati event. I had the opportunity to be on several of the calls with Michael as he worked his craft with his speakers. I was impressed with how genuine, exuberant, and in touch he was with each speaker. He truly has a gift in connecting with the heart of each person he works with and helping them to unleash their story into their talk. All of the speakers raved about his work with them. Each of them has had broad experience in speaking, but they all felt that working with Michael raised the bar on their ability to speak. You can listen to all of his speakers, Anthony Munoz, Richard Bernstein and Graeme Joffe, at http://www.tedxcincinnati.com/talks/.”

https://speakingcpr.com/testimonials/allison-wonders-gars/

“Investing in Michael is one of the best investments I have ever made. I speak on the subject of diversity in the workplace, which can at times be a difficult topic to discuss.

Michael taught me a repeatable process that allows me to create a foundational concept, a logical structure, an opening that grabs the audience’s attention, and a conclusion that encourages my audience to take action that will save them time and money.

I found Michael easy to work with, flexible with his schedule, and a wealth of information about the art of speaking. If you need to improve your presentation or speech, I highly recommend you consider hiring Michael. It is one of the best investments you can make in your own growth.”

Natalie Holder
Founder, QUEST Diversity

Speaking CPR

2018-03-20T17:33:18-04:00

Natalie Holder
Founder, QUEST Diversity

“Investing in Michael is one of the best investments I have ever made. I speak on the subject of diversity in the workplace, which can at times be a difficult topic to discuss. Michael taught me a repeatable process that allows me to create a foundational concept, a logical structure, an opening that grabs the audience’s attention, and a conclusion that encourages my audience to take action that will save them time and money. I found Michael easy to work with, flexible with his schedule, and a wealth of information about the art of speaking. If you need to improve your presentation or speech, I highly recommend you consider hiring Michael. It is one of the best investments you can make in your own growth.”

https://speakingcpr.com/testimonials/natalie-holder/

Speaking CPR